Another Fun Rainy Day Story

Note: It's not actually that fun.

Lately, I’ve been more open about sharing experiences where people have burned me in the hobby. Not to shame anyone, but to give folks a clearer picture of what I mean when I talk about the importance of honesty and transparent communication, and why I don't mess around.

One situation from a little over a year ago stands out, and I think it’s worth sharing because it highlights how small miscommunications, or withheld information, can create confusion, frustration, and mistrust, even when no one is actively trying to cause harm.

The Beginning

It all started when someone from Chatham, let's call them Dave (because I really don't like the name Dave), reached out to me through Kijiji to purchase a male rat. The sale was smooth, pickup was normal, and our conversation on Kijiji didn't raise any red flags.

A few days later, while cleaning out old Kijiji chats, I noticed something odd: Dave had changed their Kijiji account to Chatham's Deceitful Rattery (not actually) and had multiple listings for rats available for “adoption,” as well as posts requesting donations for “rescue rats.” At that point, I realized I had been misled, though technically no rules were broken. I felt flabbergasted. Not because the rats were at risk, but because I value honesty and transparency and this person hadn’t been upfront about what was happening in their household.

I also found it so strange for someone to be asking for rat supply donations while actively purchasing a live rat from a rat breeder (me).

The Middle

Not too long after my interaction with Dave (and I truly did try to brush it off and move on), I had a local breeder reach out to me to introduce themselves (let's call them Super Nice Rattery). It was an entirely normal conversation!

Around the same time, I received an email from Chatham's Deceitful Rattery, introducing themselves to me and expressing interest in my rats for breeding purposes. The email was polite and enthusiastic. They mentioned networking with other ratteries nearby (including being mentored by Super Nice) and complimented my rats. On the surface, it was a friendly introduction and a professional request. Below the surface? I think I actually said "what the F*ck?" out loud after reading it.

I seriously could never imagine emailing someone and introducing myself, as if I haven't already been to their HOME, purchased from them and MET them. That's where I knew I couldn't let this situation go.

Since they shared with me that they are working with Super Nice, I shared my experience with Super Nice, explaining the previous Kijiji purchase, the account switch, and the ads for “rescue” rats and donations. I said:

“I was a bit flabbergasted but decided to just let it go because their ads and photos showed reasonable living conditions for the pets and they appeared to be caring/good owners despite acting a bit shady. I would have preferred they be straight forward from the start and would have likely still sold them the pup.”

Super Nice replied thoughtfully (there is a reason they are being called Super Nice here), pointing out that this may have been a miscommunication or oversight rather than intentional deception. They explained that Dave had been transitioning from the “Dave" Kijiji account to “Deceitful Rattery” around the same time, and that they had been mentoring him. They reassured me that Dave was a good person with a willingness to learn from mistakes, even if the situation looked odd from my perspective. They also let me know that the rat they had purchased, unfortunately, passed from a seizure.

Over the following days, Super Nice reached out to Dave on my behalf to clarify how I had felt regarding their purchase. In response to this, I got a new email from Dave, apologizing and explaining that he had started breeding shortly after getting a rat from me, and that at the time he didn’t fully understand lines, breeding permissions, or the implications of selling offspring. He emphasized that he wasn’t trying to deceive anyone and expressed a willingness to collaborate responsibly going forward, and even asked for breeding permissions for the purchased rats' daughter.

The Ending

After taking Super Nice's perspective into account, I emailed Dave directly. I wanted to acknowledge the situation respectfully, share my perspective, and clarify my expectations about honesty and transparency going forward. I explained that while I hadn’t required an application for purchase, I still felt misled by the account change and the omission of prior interactions. I also noted that while technically nothing “wrong” had occurred, the lack of transparency raised red flags for me.

Here is the exact email:

Dear Dave,

I hope this message finds you well.

First and foremost, I want to express my deepest condolences for the loss of Rat. I know how heartbreaking it can be to lose a beloved pet, and my thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

I’d also like to apologize for the delay in my response. I’ve taken some time to reflect on the situation, as I wasn’t quite sure how to approach it. I didn’t address this at the time because, as you may understand, I breed rats for fun and generally find conflict unpleasant. Additionally, your ads on Kijiji showed that you provided suitable living conditions for your rats, so I wasn’t concerned for the safety of the rat I sold to you. However, after thinking it through, I feel it’s important to clarify my thoughts.

While I don’t require an application to purchase my rats, I do keep records of all sales. I noticed that your username changed while I was cleaning out old chats (fairly promptly after you purchased Rat), and based on the timeline, it appeared that the rat purchased was intended to be bred from that point. Even though I didn’t request any clarifying information, as I value privacy and have no means of securely storing personal details, I still feel that I was misled.

Honesty and transparency are values I hold in high regard, both in my business and personal interactions. I strive to maintain clear communication with my customers, and this situation has left me feeling unsure about the trustworthiness of the transaction. Technically, you didn’t do anything wrong, but it did raise a couple of red flags for me. One of the things that stood out was seeing your listings seeking donations of rat supplies, stating that you rescue rats, when you had clearly purchased one from me.

I want to clarify that I wouldn’t have denied the sale had you been more forthcoming about your intentions to breed. I value open communication, and had I known more about your plans, I would have been happy to work with you directly.

Another point I would like to mention is your email from February 12th, in which you introduced yourself to me, as if we had not already met and you had not previously purchased a rat from me. I find this particularly insulting, as I am sure you were fully aware of our prior interaction when writing that email. You just were not aware that I already made the connection. Super Nice provided some clarifying details about how it was likely a miscommunication, and not done with bad intentions. 

I understand that you’ve since apologized for the misunderstanding, but I must admit I’m having a hard time reconciling how this could have been a simple miscommunication. From my perspective, the situation seemed more intentional, which has made it a bit difficult to understand.

That said, I appreciate your apology, and I’m open to further discussion if you’d like to clarify things. My goal is always to maintain positive relationships with my customers, and I hope we can move forward in a more transparent and respectful manner.

Thank you for your understanding, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Haley

It’s important to note that Dave never responded to my email, which pretty much affirmed my negative feelings.

The Takeaway - And Not The Tasty Dinner Type

Over a year later, the situation remains unresolved, but it has left me with some important lessons:

1. Trust your instincts. Even when interactions seem pleasant, inconsistencies and red flags deserve attention.

2. Transparency matters. Clear communication from the start prevents confusion and preserves trust, both in personal transactions and in professional networks.

3. Handle conflict gracefully. I could have reacted with anger or drama, but addressing the situation thoughtfully allowed me to maintain my own peace of mind. Super Nice reminded me of the importance of the benefit of the doubt.

4. Document interactions. Keeping records of sales, emails, and chats can help clarify situations later, especially in a small community where relationships matter.

While most people I interact with are wonderful and caring, situations like this reinforce why these values are non-negotiable in my practice. At the end of the day, I choose to focus on people who uphold these values and on maintaining positive, professional connections.

The rest become stories to learn from and share, in hopes that others can benefit from the lessons they offer.

Maybe it will even help a prospective breeder go into interactions with more confidence and transparency.